


eridan ampora vs a bunch a people wwhat got ideas abovve their station wwhat wwanna steal his man

by ruenruinsthefandom



Series: a load a stuff wwhat happened to eridan ampora [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Parody, Scott Pilgrim AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3232886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruenruinsthefandom/pseuds/ruenruinsthefandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the eternal a struggle for lovve, one man wwith a fuckin amazin six pack against a load a fandom miss-characterised vversions a his boyfriends other lovve interests</p><p>revviewws</p><p>"SERIOUSLY THIS AGAIN ITS BEEN A YEAR AND YOU GO BACK TO DOING THIS ARE YOU THAT DEVOID OF ANY CREATIVE POTENTIAL YOU RAVING SACK OF" okay thats gettin pretty hurtful lets skip revviewws this time</p>
            </blockquote>





	eridan ampora vs a bunch a people wwhat got ideas abovve their station wwhat wwanna steal his man

**Author's Note:**

> (( oh wow yeah it's been a while since i posted anything here, i wont say im back because that'll probably jinx myself into a 70 year hiatus or something))

so kar an i wwere on a date wwhich wwas goin fuckin great an evverything but then kar wwas like "listen you fuckin sack a shit wwevve been on like three dates noww but if you wwanna get any further u gotta fight my league a characterized lovve interests"

and i wwas kinda shocked but thats fine i mean i aint about to back down now and i could fuckin wwreck anyone in a goddamn heartbeat anywways so i was like fine. wwhich wwas about the point gamzee the through the roof wwhich was fuckin disconcertin let me tell you

anywway hes all like honk an i set to wwork on beatin the shit outta him but hes just like honk and an hour later im like wwhat the fuck kar this is is a lovve interest all he does is stand around and say honk but kar wwas like "shippin is blind you shitstain on a mailbox wwe talked in canon i expressed howw much i didnt like him an then wwe wwere moirails wwhy wwouldn't that be a formula for shippin success" an i wwas like thats the dumbest load a crap i evver heard wwasnt he like abusive as fuck to you an kar wwas like "yeah but you just have to overlook that and the insane thing an pretend hes a soporific clowwn" an thats when i learned the important lesson that the only thing more important that mental health is dudes rubbin their junk together an i used that knowledge to blast gams head off wwith heavy wweaponry 

anywway after that fight had me tired i didnt get rest for shit before that pissblood assstain of a troll sollux showed up with his goddamn shit eating grin and his computer elitism an wwho am i fuckin kiddin i aint wwasting any more wword on that good for nothing insult to trollkind i killed him end of story 

next up was ter wwho i could respect because you knoww there wwas chemistry there an so i wwas like look no hard feelings to wwhich all she had to say wwas "karkles" wwhich doesnt even make sense an so i wwas like ter are you feelin alright but then kar explained this wwasnt the ter i kneww an respected this wwas horrible wweirdly abusive version of her that didnt seem to care about kar at all so i wwas like wwhy is this a thing a then i realised it wwas to trivvialise the complex codependency of kar and ter for the sake a making it seem wworse do as to justify wworse ships about kar bumpin uglies wwith dudes and that wwhen i learned the secocnd lessons a shippin that girls are second rate for the reason a boys so i mercy killed ter rather than let the insult against her name stand any longer 

next up wwas the leijon twwins the former wwho wwas just a cryin wwimp on the floor wwho wwe shouldnt evven speak of because wwoww thats barely nep at all an then counter culture nep wwhat had her personality skewwed in the complete other direction wwho wwas at least tolerable to be around but seemed t have no interest in kar wwhatsoevver an so wwe didnt fight an i didnt brawwl wwith the other either because i just felt fuckin sorry for the poor girl 

apparently they just counted as one because fifth wwas john egbert an the less i said about this asshole the better long story short i sent him to the mourge pre cremated and then i cremated my clothes because touchin that guy left some kinda dodgy smell on them i dont wwanna think about 

sixth was strider an he just kinda stood there lookin cool and flashsteppin around all my attacks wwhich wwas annoying but i didnt mind to much because he wwas so fuckin cool god damn i ended up just leaving him alone because honestly roughin up his vvery pretty face wwould just be a crime 

but the most atrocious thing a all was number 7 wwho wwas some kind a bizarre caricature a myself i dont know why but he kept sayin nyeh like thats a thing id ever say an cryin about rejections an that just aint howw i roll so i beat the shit out a him and then wwe had the most epic a blacksnogs because lets face it evven wwith a goddamn awwful personality like that i am fuckin hot and then i kicked his ass to the fuckin curb because i dont need a clingy not me crampin my style you fuckin comprehend thats when i learned my third lesson, to lovve oneself 

after all that kar wwas swwooning really hard so i swwept in and wwe made out an then wwent and did the do wwhich i wwas amazin at an no you cant havve the details wwhat the fuck kinda filth do you think this is 

the end

**Author's Note:**

> (( this fic is dedicated to my moirial han who you can blame for me bringing this awful thing back its her birthday ))
> 
> address complaints to davmayor.tumblr.com


End file.
